The End of an Era

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Summer time is rolling in and I could shout from the rooftops how happy that makes me. It’s already 75 degrees when I leave the house in the morning. :) This girl likes it hot! Born in Cali, raised in Florida… what else did you expect? But that’s not what this post is about. The girls had their last day of school yesterday. Little bittersweet for me to be honest. Hailey just finished 5th grade. She’s moving on to middle school, which is odd because I remember middle school like it was yesterday. Middle school is a horrible set of insecure years. BLEECCKKK.

This weekend we are headed to St. Louis to visit family we haven’t seen in quite awhile! The girls will be leaving from there to spend the summer with their dad in Colorado. Standing here on the edge of summer, I can already see the things in store for us, and I am excited and yet already a little tired! We have tubing trips, a weekend in Memphis, 4th of July in Destin, Florida… and who knows what else coming up…. oh yea… MY BIRTHDAY. :) How did I forget that?

Last night I took the girls out for our last little soiree of sorts before they leave. Faith’s guitar teacher was playing at a little sports bar so we went and watched the band and ate dinner out. They are already looking so much older than I can stand! I’m not sure when they started growing up. But I wish they would slow down, because I have yet to decide WHAT I WANT TO BE when I grow up… let alone watch them go off and become something.

Everything changes it seems.

Russell’s oldest daughter Danielle will be having a baby in June. She is glowingly beautiful, yet I look at her and think, GIRL! You’re so young!! What are you doing? But she’s older than I was when I had Hailey. SELF!!! WHAT WAS I DOING???? :)

Eras… they keep starting over. Strange like that. All my favorite music seems stuck in an era as well. I used to laugh at my parents, or my uncle because they seemed stuck in a music generation (although they listened to new stuff all of their favorites were from their generation) now I find the path is the same for me. 90s music is just my favorite. It’s. That. Simple. But what makes that happen? 

I know this blog has bounced around a lot. I apologize. Heading into Memorial Day weekend is always reflective for me. I learned today that our city newspaper is shutting down to printing only 3 times a week. The newspaper is going away. Giving way to modern media. End of an era. Wow.

This picture is just friggin funny. And I had no way to add it in, so I’ve been saving it for one of those days I rambled aimlessly. You know as kind of a reward for reading this far.

Italy or Bust- Flashback

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I must tell you a story. I indulge in my own selfishness quite often. I love fine chocolate, good wine, my yoga mat, DVRing shows so I don’t have to watch commercials… and the list goes on… the spa, vacations, and extreme sports… and as reward for my hard work and dedication to my job and family I feel even a little entitled to them. This post however, is not about me. It’s about a woman in my life that does not and has never.

     There are several opportunities in life that when they present themselves, you may stare at them blankly for a moment or two before you realize that there is an actual choice in front of you. Sometimes even the simplest yes or no choices, can make all the different in the world. There lies the story, the story of my Grandmother and a yes or no choice.

     Mary Elizabeth Sherman married early in life, to the boy of her dreams. He was charming and cocky and all those things that teenage girls fawn over. It was the late 1950′s in the Italian ran side of Chicago, Illinois. You’ve seen this movie. It’s charmed America’s socks off every time it’s been made. Little bit of Mafia, small slice of apple pie, four children, dozens of dogs, thousands of tribulations, 60 years later they’re still together, and their family is the most important thing in their world. The red, white, and blue flies high in their front yard, politics and religion are debates that can get you chased down the driveway, and by all necessary standards they’re the normal American family.

   Being part of a normal American family, Mary spent her life raising children and being the center beam of a strong loving family. Her devotion and selflessness is ever present for her family. She feeds anyone that walks through the door of the house a five-star meal. Her strength of character and determination have been something that have kept me awestruck since I became a mother and began to see the tribulations that come with raising a family.

     I’ve never heard her ask for anything. Not once. Not in the 30 years she’s been my Grandmother. Matter of fact, the only thing I’ve ever heard her say repeatedly since I was a child that even had a hint of self indulgence to it was, “If I ever had the chance, I would go to Italy.” Something in this has always resonated with me. I come from Blue collar America. My family all works with their hands for their money and they all work hard for it. They pay their taxes, they feed their kids, and they have BBQ’s on the 4th of July. It’s a great life by every written standard, it is the American Dream. But it doesn’t spend much time in Italy.

      Several years ago, I daydreamed  seeing her face light up  as she was stepping off a plane in Rome. Her one selfish indulgence becoming a reality. It didn’t really seem like a possibility, until now. Until I stopped toying with the idea and realized the only way it would ever come true, was to make it happen. Behind every great idea, is someone daydreaming stuff up, and with my family full of supporters that all want to see that sparkle in her eye as badly as I do, this daydream will happen.

     My Grandma got her passport today, the countdown has begun. Italy is going to happen. This trip is not at all about us being able to take her, this trip is solely about her deserving to go.

Red Lights- Flashback


I  have noticed all through my life, sitting at red lights does not actually bother me. Sitting at red lights often times gives me an opportunity to reflect on the day, the week, the year, a childhood memory. It’s odd actually what might come to mind at these times, as I sit, stopped by something as simple as a light on a road that is leading me to my destination. There is so much symbolism in it that I’ve actually written about it on several different occasions, just to scribble through my efforts later.

This week however, seems to be one of those weeks that shows you big picture, things that are not just going on in my life, but also the people around me. All the things on my plate; the separation, new house, new bills, travel opportunities, work, the kids, etc… they wash over me as I sit idle here. Then I think about my little brother, getting married today 6 states away, the nervous excitement I’m sure he’s enduring. My little sister moving into her first house today with her husband and two children, the elation she must feel. My Grandmother at 71 years old, applied for her passport today, to travel this fall to Italy with me, her life dream becoming a reality. My parent’s business that they started, struggled with since the beginning is blooming into a full fledged corporation, new taxes and all.

The light changes, as they always eventually do, and these days will pass. But right now, in this moment… I am living, and it feels so good.

Cause I’m a Rock Star Baby


It happens as rarely as a solar eclipse. I woke up in a kick ass mood. A take no prisoners, sassy attitude, stilletto rocking good mood. A conquer this world and six just like it by noon kinda mood. The sun is blazing outside in all its own sexiness. I listen to the office chit chat just long enough to know in order to maintain my mood the iPods gotta come out!

I slide through a crazy montage of music that has no business being in the same folders together and my mood increases to the point where I feel I may explode with a giddiness. I had lunch outside at a little Greek place with a dear friend of mine. It seems today, the things that have been haunting me have fled in the sunlight. My skin feels new. I may be radiating, watch out.

Something’s in the air today. It may be the summer on the horizon, the fact that there is adventure in my weekend, maybe even the simplicity in the fact that my skins been sun-kissed lately. Regardless, I feel like a FUCKING ROCK STAR today…. so back me up while I do this cover on the air guitar!!!

Something About a Friday- Flashback


There is something strangely new and exciting about Friday’s even when you have nothing planned for the weekend. A strong satisfaction of acomplishing another week. I made it! Seems a small accomplishment sure, but in reality it can be a major milestone sometimes. This week has been one of those monsters that drag it’s stubborn feet and fights every step of the way. A week that fights so hard in fact, that when Friday breaks daylight one can’t help but utter a silent prayer and feel hopeful.

There is a song lyric replaying itself in my mind today from one of my favorite artists, Jason Mraz. “What becomes of a day for those who rage against it?” and the answer I keep coming back to, is it too shall pass. That is a line that has never brought me any comfort at all, that my mother has actually crammed down my throat repeatidly since the day I was born. Over the course of my life, any time I have been faced with any trial or tribulation, her go to line has always been, “Jeanna, this too shall pass,” and as much as that line has made me want to pop her in the forehead, I have also always found it to be true.

A new day will dawn whether I am happy or sad, above ground or dust in the wind, time will go on… and this too shall pass. I am reminded of this fact again at my realization that it is Friday. The struggle of this week has been great on my heart. I’ve hurt a lot this week. I’ve looked for ways to sort out my frustration and anger, looked for shelves to stack piles of blame on, cried buckets of tears but honestly I am tired of it.

Again today, I pick running shoes. Thank you Friday, for all that you do.

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