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We are headed to guitar lessons last night while Katy Perry blares on the radio. I am trying desperately to watch where I am going through the foggy/rainy/sleety mess that is floating through the evening. Typical Wednesday night.
Out of the music Faith (age 8) hears the word virginity and asks, “Mom what is virginity?”
I try very hard to never make them feel silly for asking questions, in hopes that this will keep open communication when they are (heavy sigh…) teenagers.
I explain that it is something that you are before you have sex with someone who you love and want to spend your whole life with and from nowhere in the back seat Hailey jumps in, “Faith don’t act like you don’t know what sex is, I know you do!”
I look at my 8-year-old, she’s blushing red even in the dark of the car.
“Do you know what sex is Faith?” I ask.
“Yea, kind of. It’s when a boy and girl get naked, put their pee-pee’s together and then rub them all around.”
Inside I die laughing at the sweet simple honesty of her 8-year-old answer as I feel my face flush and I am thankful for the dark of the car.
“Mmmm,” I decide that her answer will suffice for now. “And so now do you understand virginity?”
“Yes, it sounds pretty special,” she says.
I am grateful that it seems important to her even at her age and awareness. My mind floods back to being a teenager and the not so great moment that I gave to a boy who was pretty much useless. I send up what feels like much too small of a prayer that my daughters are smarter than I was in the way of boys.
Moments pass and the Katy Perry beat ends. Hailey requests another song as we keep driving. Just me and these two little girls whose hands I don’t ever want to let go of. Hearts that I never want to see broken. I think of my mom, who has watched me go through so much, how her heart must ache.
Hailey says something funny and we all laugh. She just turned 11 last week. A song is on that says, “Dad I am your buckaroo, I want to be like you,” and Hailey says, “That’s a really sweet line, did I want to be like you when I was little mom?”
It hits me, I am becoming… old to her… not cool…. not fashionable, not funny… I am her… well… Mom. Interesting I think as I ponder my response.
“Don’t you still want to be like me?” I ask.
“Mmmmm…. most of the time,” she admits. “But not always. I kind of like being me.”
Well if there were a good answer, that would be it… and the radio plays on.
My daughter is 7 so I totally know where you are coming from. Great post!
Sex conversations were awkward with my mom and now they’re awkward with my kids lol, what is that about? I wish I was more mature lol!
“I kind of like being me.” Then you are succeeding!!!! Good work, Mom.
I liked her response too. She’s a unique little character that one is. Raising day and night. lol
One of my favorite posts from ya! Love it!
Laura
Thanks Laura
kids really just blow my mind. They are a constant reminder that God is good.
Very cool…the last line really got me.
P.S. Stop letting them listen to Katy Perry…jeez!!!
lol I try not to remove secular crap from them… because I don’t want it to seem “so cool” and something that they feel the need to sneak to do… I just try honesty. Make them decide. We talk about what lyrics are gross, disrepectful etc… I try to keep them open to all things so that Jesus is the right choice, not a demand made by MOM.
Having girls to bring up would be my nightmare.
This made me cry… man I miss those girls. I heard a song the other day that reminds me of Hailey and Faith. It’s called Beautiful You..and it’s incredible…I’m proud of you Mommy!!!
Great post, I think you handled it all very well. My oldest is 8, and I haven’t even come close to any awkward conversations like that yet. (sigh) guess they have to grow up, which means I do too.
I don’t want to grow up!
I’m not ready! Please don’t make me!
Your eight-year old knows more about sex than I did when I was 13! My oh my have things changed. Kids seem so mature these days. And yet they stay longer and longer with their parents. What’s up with that?
Beautiful story!
Oh, now that brings back some memories indeed. My two oldest happened to be girls and it did strike me how quickly they grew and were exposed to sexuality. I’m in awe though, 8 and there’s discussion about sex? I’ve got two words for you Jeanna – Hair Coloring! On the whole, I think you are doing a fantastic job. Keep up the good work.
And don’t fret too much about not being cool – happens to the best of us. I’m sure some day Lady Ga Ga will have kids, and when she shows up at their middle school to help out with something, their only thoughts will be, God! My mom is such a dork!
I literally just stumbled across your blog, and am loving every single post. Sorry if I’m forcing your inbox to implode with my likes and comments, I’ll try to slow down!
I’m raising two daughters, and this one made me laugh SO hard and loud. I had to explain what “mortified” meant in the car the other day, after Taylor Swift so graciously sang about how teenagers get mortified of being seen with their parents. The concept was beyond them, because they still think I’m QUITE the rockstar, thankyouverymuch, but those years are soon to come.
Keep writing and inspiring! I look forward to following your work!
awwww thank you! I love people that stumble into me and instantly like me! That takes away so much pressure of trying to impress you later
!!!! Welcome! I hope you stay and enjoy!
Heres to your girls not giving the special moment away to a useless boy like so many of us… (although I survived and lived to meet my decidedly useful man!) And as a mother of a boy…may I succeed in raising him to cherish the girls in his life! Thanks Jeanna…love your writing!
sigh… fingers crossed
beautiful girls you have there…really tough conversations that I’ve had to have with my own daughter… I think I’m just as terrified as you are of the world they must face!
T.
Thank you! Yes it is completely terrifying. I suppose my parent’s wished this on me though with that infamous, “I hope one day you have kids just like you!!” …. that was mean mom, thanks!