I knew that title would get your attention. If I would have said my children you probably wouldn’t have even stopped to read this. But since I’ve got you for a second…. let me get some things off my chest.
Why does your 8 year old have an iPhone?
Why does your child scream at the teacher with blantant disrespect?
Why does your child not have a single chore?
Why does your child tell my child on the bus that she better bring them candy every single day or she’s going to get beaten up?
Why does your 6 year old know how to use FUCK correctly in a sentence?
Why does throwing a tantrum in the middle of WalMart get them exactly what they want instead of a busted behind?
Why is your family sitting around a table at the Olive Garden, yet every single one of you are on your own phones, Nintendo DSI, or iPod?
Yesterday Faith told me at dinner that there is a girl on her bus that always tries to pull her shirt up and it embarasses her. I sat there stunned for a second… looking at my daughter.
“She pulls your shirt up?”
“Yes”
“Did you tell the bus driver?”
“Yes, she told me to go sit back down.”
I think for a second… “Next time she tries to pull your shirt up, ball up your fist and punch her in the nose as hard as you can.”…. Faith stares at me in shock… maybe it’s the wrong thing to tell her… but you know what, I’ve got limits too, and I’m starting to think some of the kids out there aren’t getting punched in the noses enough!
I’m probably creaking with age here, but I remember when I would get my butt cut IN school, and again when Mom came to get me, and AGAIN when Dad got home. Whatever it was that got my fanny tanned was only done that once.
I also remember my neighbors not being shy about reprimanding me either and if I mouthed off, Dad’s belt took care of that issue real quick.
Whatever happened to discipline?!
Discipla-what??? Lol
You are my new hero.
Score!!
EXACTLY! If a parent isn’t popping them enough then it is up to the kids at school who are being bullied to teach them to sit down and shut up. I completely agree. Faith needs to just knock em out. HARD! and for a long time then when the school bus driver stops the bus she needs to say What I’m going to sit back down.
LOL! I love you Chelsi, I agree… I keep working her on it… I almost wish she would just get that mad. Such a softie she is.
All it’ll take is ONE time and that girl won’t mess with her anymore. But I bet you she goes crying to the bus driver and THEN she’ll try to do something about it.
I put a link to a bully story I wrote about a while back. All it took was one time to stop my friends son from being picked on…
http://thelifeofjwo.wordpress.com/2011/11/04/bully-tastes-southern-fried-justice/
I read your post, it made me laugh. I completely agree. I love how he started looking for a place to park, too funny. I made it very clear to Faith however she deals with it, I will stand behind her. If she busts that kids nose open and blood goes flying all over and she gets expelled or suspended or whatever… we will deal with it. Neither of my children will ever be in trouble with me if they are defending themselves. Now if they were the bully… oh good Lord they better hope I never get that phone call.
I’m not an advocate for kids being violent but things have gotten out of hand. The bus driver is the one who should be popped. She / He should have stopped the bus and taken the child to the front of the bus with her / him. At this childs stop she / he should have gotten out and spoken with the parent. If the parent had an attitude then it would be time for the school to get involved. It looks like too many people rely on kids to do what adults are supposed to do. The bus driver is the steward for your childs safety. How dare him/her ignore your daughter. He / her needs a good talking to from you. Go tell him / her to do their job. It’s always the nice kids who get pushed around. I’m sorry your daughter has to endure boarish behavior from another kid and a bus driver.
Good Luck with this one …. Maybe – you should pop the bus driver. LOLOL Just injecting a little lightness on a heavy subject.
Be strong on your conviction …
Isadora
I agree her to Isadora, the bus driver is responsible for making sure my child gets to school safely, and htat doesn’t necesarrily mean the drive only. Maybe she does need popped in the nose
So right on Jeanna! Learning at her age to stand up for herself is an excellent lesson! She will then become a strong woman who, not only stands up for herself, but will understand (truly) how NOT to live her life in fear. Much needed in this world we live.
I also think that if she were to be reprimanded by the school bus driver or the school for this action, that would be fair, as long as it includes the perpetrator! I don’t believe in teaching kids to fight. But sticking up for themselves is a whole nother world! (And it speaks volumes to other little perpetrators on the prowl!)
So right on Jeanna! Learning at her age to stand up for herself is an excellent lesson! She will then become a strong woman who, not only stands up for herself, but will understand (truly) how NOT to live her life in fear. Much needed in this world we live. I also think that if she were to be reprimanded by the school for this action, that would be fair, but they better include the perpetrator and the bus driver. I don’t believe in teaching kids to fight. But sticking up for themselves is a whole nother world! (And it speaks volumes to other little perpetrators on the prowl for little pushover victims!)
I also agree with Isadora, the bus driver needs to be investigated. Why do we allow wishy washyness when it comes to who we entrust our children? The bus driver needs to be held accountable NOW! Not when the kids get pushed to the point of taking things into their own little hands.
I completely agree. Faith told me that this girl always calls her names and other stuff… and Faith bless her heart, she gets her feelings hurt so easy. She was loved by everyone and so popular at her last school and now she gets picked on, she just doesn’t know what to do with it. I told her, hunny stand your ground, when they say something mean to you, look them square in the eyes, roll your eyes, say: “come up with that all on your own, did ya?” flip your beautiful hair over your shoulder and walk away. I said LOOK BORED when they talk to you. Like they just fell off of the moon. She thought this was really funny, but she’s not good at coming up with a quick comeback or mean thing to say because she’s just not a mean person. Hopefully next school year will bring some peace back to her.
I am not a proponent of violence, but there has to be discipline at the very least. I was brought up with lots of corporal punishment, but I wanted to do things differently with my own daughter. She learned to respect me as her mother, as an elder, as someone who has lived longer & just might know a little bit more than her. In return, she got respect for her privacy, her point of view & responsibility as soon as she showed any inclination to honor it. She was punished when she did something wrong, she lost a privilege & it was always something she valued highly, so she didn’t repeat bad behaviors too often. My daughter is a mature, responsible, independent young woman now & I am very proud of her.
Now sometimes I am tempted to throw up my hands in defeat at the behavior of young people around me.
Yes, kids lately are insane. I am not a proponent of violence either. There is no reason to just randomly fight. But like Frank Sherman said… there is a time and place, and people need to quit assuming they can walk all over someone else because people are scared of the consequences. For example: gun laws… you go in and make it illegal to have guns in a state, who abides by the law? Well… good law abiding citizens do. The bad guys will still have them. It’s the same with the bullying. They intimidate, they scare people, they threaten… but the first time you step back up in their face and bust their ugly mean nose open… they are humiliated, and they will not mess with you again. If they happen to be dumb enough to mess with you again, you gently remind their nose with your other fist. It’s that easy.
I don’t know about recommending violence, but I certainly agree with you the there seems to be an epidemic of “children gone wild” in this country. Parents have stopped disciplining their kids and other authority figures can’t because those same lax parents will slap a lawsuit on anyone who dare to hurt their children’s feelings. let alone physically discipline them.
Kids need rules and to know the limits. Parents aren’t their friends; they are their parents. Great post, Jeanna!
You’re correct. Parents have gone MIA in the last 10-15 years. The kids my children are hanging out with… even the good ones… seem to have very lax rules, no discipline, and are sarcastic and disrespectful to a level I just cannot fathom. I’ve had Hailey turn and look at me in the grocery store and go… ohhhhh that kid needs a spanking! I mean for an 11 year old to process that… you know the kid is acting way out. Now my girls are a handful, I won’t even pretend otherwise… but they know that the second we enter a public area, they are to be representatives of themselves, and I demand that they are a good reflection on me. I will not be humiliated in public by my 8 or 11 year old throwing a tantrum like they are 2. I didn’t allow it then either!
Here, here! A good crotch kicking deterred bullies for many, many years before kids were told/instructed/brow beat into believing violence is wrong. Violence for the sake of violence is always wrong. However, it is not always up to somebody wearing a badge or in a position of so called “authority” to watch over us. We, as a living, breathing being, have not only the right, but the responsibility to protect OURSELVES.
I am well aware of the fact that in our present day society people are never responsible for their own actions, unless, of course, those actions are in retaliation to anything, for any reason. When children AND adults could strike back without reprimand, bullying was not the global problem it is rapidly becoming today. The teachers and the police need proof before they can do anything to the bully in any situation. The child or victim doesn’t. They were right there and felt everything that happened.
When people start standing up for themselves once again, this “bullying” will slow down, and not a second before. When children were “allowed” (sonofabitch do I hate that word) to take care of the schoolyard bully on their own, he usually learned his lesson and left not only his latest victim alone, but his future ones as well. Teach your children to crotch kick. It’s the best thing you can ever do for them.
I’ve got to say, I truly agree with this comment. The more I see the minority overthrow the majority, the more outraged I become. And as far as the word ALLOW goes… yea… step up people! No one cares anymore about anything it seems… and yet somehow everyone OVERcares about EVERYTHING! When Faith told me about this girl on the bus, I made it very clear… you rear back your fist and punch her straight in the nose. Aim for her nose and hit her as hard as you possibly can. She looked shocked that I was saying this behavior was okay, but since she has changed schools she has been bullied non stop to the point that it is causing her anxiety attacks and if there are consequences for her actions at school that’s fine, I will stand behind her and deal with them accordingly, but I cannot support her not defending herself.
While I normally wouldn’t advocate aggression as a response, what else is left if the damned adults don’t act like adults? The bus driver, the teacher, her assistant, the recess monitor – these are all supposed to be stewards for all the children, an authority figure to be respected; an authority figure to protect. Absent any intervention from other adults, I must agree that your daughter has the absolute right to defend herself, even if that means an act of aggression. That the last resort seems as an only option however, leaves me feeling a bit sad for the situation.
Hugs to you and your daughter.