Tags
divorce, frustrated, PAIN, sad
If you’ve been following along with me for a while, you know that my parents are going through a divorce. You also know that yesterday was my birthday. It was a great day. I got cards from my Momma, my in-laws, my sister, my hubby… I had a desk covered in confetti and Tim Tebow pictures at work, Facebook messages out the you know what, and at least a dozen phone calls, the girls called from Colorado to sing to me… I was feeling pretty darn spectacular. I love that when my friends and family see June 27th on the calendar, for a split moment in time… they think about me. I know I do that for my friends and family, so I’ve always assumed, when they see the date, they think…aww that’s Jeanna’s day!
Now on to the hostile part… I never heard from my dad. I don’t know why this shocked me. He’s been in his own world for the last several months. I feel like through all of this crap, I’ve been trying to … I don’t know… just keep an open mind I guess, even though I am really crushed that they split up. I’ve stayed cordial to him, I listen to him, I defend him to my siblings… and HE forgets MY birthday?
So I waited until this morning to text him and say:
Me: ….you know dad…. yesterday was my birthday.
Dad: Don’t be mad at me, I knew there was a reason that number was sticking in my brain yesterday.
Me: My dad’s never forgotten my birthday.
Dad: Ok. Don’t beat me up. I love you.
AND THAT WAS IT.
He didn’t apologize. He didn’t say happy late birthday. He just forgot. Not only did he forget… but the number stood out to him yesterday and HE COULDN’T PLACE WHY??? The number was sticking in my head yesterday? UMMM…. Maybe because your oldest child was born on that date? Maybe because for the last 30 years you’ve celebrated this date with your wife and your family? Oh… that’s right…. you forgot about us. That’s FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC.
I appreciate the childhood memories I have with you, and some of my grown ones too… but I am afraid I see the future flailing. To be honest, I already miss you.
So sorry you are hurting…..
wow, so sorry, dads can be that way. But i bet he loves u very much
Oy. Sorry about your dad’s flakeout. That’s bad. But happy belated birthday.
I’m sorry Jeanna. Hope you had a good birthday otherwise! If it’s any consolation, my family flakes sometimes on my birthday, usually because they haven’t yet realized it’s March!
Happy belated Birthday Jenna. I had mine today. I knew there was a reason I liked you……..a fellow moon child.
This just reminds me how women keep the social ties tight. Men do other things–but don’t ask me what.
LOL ain’t that the truth!!!
I am so sorry I missed this one. I missed a very important day for you. Your BIRTH – DAY.
I think that is the most important day of the year. It is , for me, the only holiday that is important.
WHY ??? It’s your day and your day alone. I suppose it is the reason why it hurt you so badly that the one person who should have rememebered didn’t.
MMMmmmm …. I’m going to sound a bit defensive now – please don’t hate me if I take the other side.
YES – you have a right to be pissed off. YES – you do have a right to expect that he should have remembered. YES – you have a right to be every one of your emotions. Yes – you felt that his lack of caring is a stab in the back. BUT – he is a man. Men don’t remember these situations. Maybe, you thought he did while you were growing up. Maybe , he actually did. I doubt it. He was told by your MOM. Men don’t rememebr shi-t. Unless they are gay. Men are men. They are gatherer. They are hunters. They don’t have a pocket calendar with important dates. UGH – to the guy that does. LOOK – it’s bad. Divorce sucks. There’s his side – her side and the truth. There is no easy divorce. It happens. People grow apart. You just get one ride on the merry-go-round. Do you keep going around with misery or do you decide to get off and try some other ride??? It sucks. No one wants their parents to not be a couple anymore. They don’t hate their kids. They don’t even hate each other. They just want something else and it doesn’t involve the other. If statistics were better I would say they were odd. BUT – 50% of people get divorced. Soooo there is a few bodies that get trampeled on in the process. Don’t be a victim. Understand that it isn’t you they are hurting it’s themselves. If they hurt themselves than they have a reason for moving on. Eventually, it all pans out. YES – they’re a few victims and scars that happen along he way but they lived a long life together and despite what you may think – he feels he loss even if he wants it. Think about that real special pair of shoes you have loved for so long but they have tons of holes on the bottom and you have to throw then out. It is necessay but won’t you miss those soft walks in the middle of the night to get that BIG bowl of ice cream you have been craving at 2:00 a.m.
Go get that Teddy Bear or hugggie that made you feel really special and squeeze it until you know that you will be okay. Time will make it all better – time.
namaste ….
Your welcome – just a little old lady bunch of thoughts to keep your big beautiful smile on your face like the one in your gravatar. ~~~~~ : – )
I am so dern sorry Jeanna Beanna. That broke my heart into a million pieces. That makes me want to send you and your sexah momma back to Italy. I want your mom to have an Italian love affair and feel beautiful and sexy and wanted again. Men are poop. sigh.
lol! Men are poop! Agreed! And I will definitely take you up on the Italy trip… why don’t you join us!